Whats your biggest fib?
After reading BigFootCookies discovery about the blogger known as Mr Underhill going MIA due to his life of lies catching up with him I thought I would post one of my little lies I once used that came back to bite me.
I once took a training course in the installation and configuration of SQL Server 2000. As part of these Microsoft courses (and most other training courses probably) the presenter starts with "Hi, i'm Mr Blah blah.." and then proceeds to get the attendees to say who they are, where they work and their expectations for the course. They also get you to give "an interesting fact about yourself" which is always the killer question first thing on a Monday morning when you are surrounded by technical strangers.
Now I always feel bad about answering this question.. mainly due to the fact that I think I am boring and that really I don't do anything other than muck about with PCs all the time and have no real life or hobbies. This may be true - so this time I decided to make something up.
"My name is Taoski, I work for Super Global Mega Corp and my expectations for this course are to learn as much as possible (and retain the information) to assist my feeble brained colleagues in supporting SQL Server."
"My interesting fact is..... I am just about to sign a record deal to make electronic dance music!"
The stunned silence that blanketed the room was proof enough to me that I had nailed the lid shut on anyone elses "factoid".
"Really? That's so cool" said the presenter and he continued round the room and I basked in my newfound status.
The week long course went ok and the people sitting near me would often ask me about the music, what software and hardware I used to make it with and what my "band name" would be called and I was always able to give some coherant answers and make them sound plausable too!
"I use an old Korg synth MIDI'ed up to Cubase and an AKAI sampler" i told them to nods of approval.
As the days rolled by, they found out that my first track was going to be on a compilation CD and my band name was just going to be "Taoski", I got paid £500 for the track with some royalties in the pipeline too.
The lies just came too easily... until a few months later when I attended another course and found one of the same people was there too. He asked about the CD and I told him it did get published recently but only in a small number.
I was then shamed into trying to find it on the Internet as he looked on with interest. Needless to say, "the label must have gone under" or the "CD has been pulled due to sample copyright issues" as i could not find it anywhere! I did feel a little silly at that point but I think I managed to cover my tracks fairly well.
I should have just told them about when I played Didgeridoo on stage at Glastonbury Festival in front of a crowd of thousands. That really is true and alot more impressive and mysterious!
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
You would'nt let it....
Whats your biggest fib?
After reading BigFootCookies discovery about the blogger known as Mr Underhill going MIA due to his life of lies catching up with him I thought I would post one of my little lies I once used that came back to bite me.
I once took a training course in the installation and configuration of SQL Server 2000. As part of these Microsoft courses (and most other training courses probably) the presenter starts with "Hi, i'm Mr Blah blah.." and then proceeds to get the attendees to say who they are, where they work and their expectations for the course. They also get you to give "an interesting fact about yourself" which is always the killer question first thing on a Monday morning when you are surrounded by technical strangers.
Now I always feel bad about answering this question.. mainly due to the fact that I think I am boring and that really I don't do anything other than muck about with PCs all the time and have no real life or hobbies. This may be true - so this time I decided to make something up.
"My name is Taoski, I work for Super Global Mega Corp and my expectations for this course are to learn as much as possible (and retain the information) to assist my feeble brained colleagues in supporting SQL Server."
"My interesting fact is..... I am just about to sign a record deal to make electronic dance music!"
The stunned silence that blanketed the room was proof enough to me that I had nailed the lid shut on anyone elses "factoid".
"Really? That's so cool" said the presenter and he continued round the room and I basked in my newfound status.
The week long course went ok and the people sitting near me would often ask me about the music, what software and hardware I used to make it with and what my "band name" would be called and I was always able to give some coherant answers and make them sound plausable too!
"I use an old Korg synth MIDI'ed up to Cubase and an AKAI sampler" i told them to nods of approval.
As the days rolled by, they found out that my first track was going to be on a compilation CD and my band name was just going to be "Taoski", I got paid £500 for the track with some royalties in the pipeline too.
The lies just came too easily... until a few months later when I attended another course and found one of the same people was there too. He asked about the CD and I told him it did get published recently but only in a small number.
I was then shamed into trying to find it on the Internet as he looked on with interest. Needless to say, "the label must have gone under" or the "CD has been pulled due to sample copyright issues" as i could not find it anywhere! I did feel a little silly at that point but I think I managed to cover my tracks fairly well.
I should have just told them about when I played Didgeridoo on stage at Glastonbury Festival in front of a crowd of thousands. That really is true and alot more impressive and mysterious!
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5 comments:
A lie will easily get you out of a scrape, and yet, strangely and beautifully, rapture possesses you when you have taken the scrape and left out the lie.
Who's is'nt!
I reckon this would be a tumbleweed inducing course room silencer,
"Hi, My name is Bigfootcookie, and I work for Mega Global Corp, doing such work as blah and fixing blah for all the blah blah's.
My interesting fact is that I once killed a Trans-sexual with my bare hands, so I could look at its naked body without feeling gay."
I also like riding my mountain bike.
That's awesome. I would love do do something like that...except everyone knows me too well for me to pull it off. Or if I was in a situation where I could try, I'd just start laughing.
Well...
you have got the breasts for it!
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