"Suitable for 15 years or older. Films in this category can be about anything, say 'fuck' a lot, probably get to see all sorts of guns and shooting, but no open heart surgery with a knife. Most 'R' rated films in America fit into this category. " Examples: Alien, The Sixth Sense See what your rating is!
Created by bart666
Welcome to Flickr! ha ha ha
I'm not a ranter and i don't rant, even on my blog. In fact you can check back though my old posts and find only nice things about Hedgehogs, BitTorrent and feeling iPoddy.
But there's this bloke in the office...
Although i am not a M$ qualified MCSE or even MCP i have been doing iT Support for over 10 years now and i think i pretty much know what i am talking about. I am consistantly the best in my department - in fact, the whole country.
What i do want to rant about is fatty sarcastic contractors trying to tell me how to do my job or how crap our systems are. This chap is forever trying to lord it over me saying things like "god man, your server is so slow... i've got better equipment in my bedroom than you have got here... haw haw haw" at the top of his voice or "my god, only USB1? This iT section is pathetic... when I ran an iT company... blah blah blah" and then swanning off chatting on his brand new Motorola RAZR phone. Now i've got nothing against contractors - but some of them do seem to have an enourmous chip on their shoulder.
His colleague (also a contractor) is the nicest bloke you could ever meet and once you have helped him he is forever in your debt. Why can't all people be like this! Of course i know that he is just sucking up to me so he can get what he wants urgently - but i don't care... one bit! "He who buys the coffee is my friend". They are not all bad - are they Rick?
As for fatso with "the sarcy comments" and "the swagger" and "the big salary" - he can fuck off!
I spent the last few minutes munching my crisps and settling into the Wiki to find out about Deja Vu, what it is and why it happens. When i am ill i seem to suffer from this more often and thought it would make a good lunchtime study subject. After discovering my level of general knowledge was equal to an 11 year old on Junior Mastermind the other night i thought i had better excercise my grey matter slightly. Still, my kids were impressed i was getting the questions right!
Ah, so my Deja Vu is either a sign of my depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, improper electrical discharge from my brain or an album by Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young. Take your pick! This revelation lead me onto reading about sleep disorders and i found two that i suffer from!
Hypnic Jerk:
This is the involuntary physical jerk or snap reaction you get just before going to sleep. With me it is normally when i am in a dream like state but not fully asleep (like when i am at work) and i am dreaming about doing something physical. Often something like the thought of stepping off a kerb will trigger a reaction. I think it is also the name of a 70s disco dance popularised by an tracksuit wearing, afro sporting white nerd with a moustache and big glasses. "Do the hypnic...!"
Wittmaack-Ekbom or restless leg(s) syndrome:
I get this when i am tired and can't seem to keep my legs still and feel all fidgety. I always called this "jumpy legs" and associated it with having too much tea, sugar or something. Its nice to know that its just a side effect of my anti psychotic medication.
And there endeth the lesson and we can all sleep safe and sound in our beds.
Well.. we could if it was'nt for the Bruxism! Ggggnnnnnnn!! Grrrrrrr!!
Close your eyes... Picture the scene...
It's summer. The day has been getting hotter and hotter. As usual the air conditioning is not working in the office and some little runt has swiped your supply of desk fans and rubbed off the secret mark you made underneath in case of such an event. The cocktail of Curry and Cobra lager you had last night has reached its volcanic peak and the brown botty magma is only a few discrete pumps away. Lets face it... you smell - bad!
It's those kind of days when you (and your colleagues) long for one of these products. Its the only thing that will save you from complete anal meltdown.
And too busy wallowing in snot at work getting a small amount of sympathy from the customers as i bubble and dribble into my handset.
I have been looking for somewhere to have my kids 6th birthday party too. Times getting on and at the moment, procrastination is not paying off. You just don't seem to get many kids party places advertising on the Internet. Then again, hiring a clown might be quite interesting or some sort of magician. I bet he could disappear the cash in my iPod fund pretty quick!
I did find this place though. I bet it would be one hell of a party!
1. Find a suitable image from a reputable online purveyour. eg: real imperial stormtrooper helmets.
Save the image to your hard drive.
2. Load the image into Adobe Photoshop and delete the black background to make it all white.
This will make it easier on your printers ink cartridges.
Save it back to your hard disk.
3. Load the image into Microsoft Publisher and create a poster size print. Adjust the page size accordingly.
Mine is 1.25 meters tall!
Print, trim the overlapping edges and stick together using sellotape.
Add extra sellotape to the reverse to add strength. Remember... this is going in a childs room - its got to last until morning!
4. Heres one i made earlier...
When they are asleep, sneak into your childs bedroom and stick it on the wall ready for them to see it looming over them when they stir in the night.
Collect the love.
