The May Day bank holiday loomed its head so the family decided to head west to Stow On The Wold for a pub lunch and a little "slow walk shopping".
Even Dr Who with his Tardis would have winced at the journey we had. Kiddie vomit from car sickness, incorrect internet directions and a severe lack of petrol made for an interesting trip across rural england. And of course, as it was bank holiday, it rained too.
And once we made it to Stow and hid our car away in the local Tesco carpark - much to the disgust of the locals - we were then greeted with Dr Who's other arch enemy - the Japanese tourists.
Whilst walking back from the pub bar after ordering our food and carrying a tray of drinks i came across a small group of the enemy who were gliding through the doorway from the pub garden and up the small "olde english" pub stairs towards me with their "no seeing" eyes fixed on something unseen behind me. I had to jump back out of the doorway to avoid being knocked backwards - nearly spilling my half a shandy! The 4th, the oldest and the wisest of the group was coming next. I saw my chance and in a show of unusual agression (for me) i pushed through in front of him. His stony zombie face came to life with suprise as i nipped in past him. I showed him no honour or respect but I did not care.
Shame i did'nt have my Sonic Screwdriver with me. I could have stuffed it up his.....
2 comments:
This is the main reason I spend all Bank Holiday's in my back garden. Rain, traffic jams and Japanese tourists. All too much individually, never mind all together in one go. Agent Shandy, Ninja Disser!
Always carry a bag of caustic soda in the boot of the car. A surreptitious spoonful in a pint lager will make a tasty apperitif for one of these soulless cunts
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